Lately, I’ve been working with Lucy on understanding not just the importance of our choices, but also their ripple effects—both good and bad.
When life presents us with something that ruffles our feathers (and let’s be honest, it happens often in today’s world), it’s important to pause before we respond. That pause, that deep breath, is where emotional maturity steps in.
If we take the easy road and react with raw anger, unfiltered words, or negativity, it might feel good for a split second. But the aftermath? It’s usually messy. There’s cleanup required for our own emotional state—because the “feel-good” moment quickly sours into guilt, regret, and disappointment. And then there’s the cleanup we have to do around us—hurt feelings, broken trust, or even broken things if our explosion was big enough.
But when we choose to take that uncomfortable breath, swallow a little pride, and respond with maturity, the outcome is entirely different. No emotional debris to sweep up. No trust shattered. Instead, you often see others rise to your example. And while the satisfaction is delayed, it’s far deeper and longer-lasting than the fleeting rush of “getting the last word.”
I first learned this lesson when I became a dog trainer. Dogs teach you so much about self-control. They don’t care about the exact words you use—they’re reading your emotional state. If I approached a dog in anger, they might obey, but it would be out of fear, not respect. On the other hand, if I came at them with too much joy and excitement, they’d spin right out of control with me.
The key was calm, steady leadership. Speaking with clarity but holding my emotions in check. Dogs respected that. They followed it. And I realized it’s no different with people. True leadership isn’t about overpowering others—it’s about mastering yourself.
That’s the lesson I want Lucy (and myself!) to carry into every corner of life:
We can’t always control what comes at us, but we can always control what comes out of us.
Raising Light 