Sometimes the best way for our children to understand the gift of an accommodation is to have them do the hard work first.
When Lucy was younger, I did a lot of the handwriting for her—especially in math. Her mind could easily keep up with the concepts, but her fine motor skills just hadn’t caught up yet. So, for a season, I stepped in and carried that part of the load for her.
As she got older, though, I slowly handed more of it back—just a little at a time. Recently, I’ve been having her complete every step of her math lessons herself, from start to finish.
Today, however, she had a lengthy unit test. Her attitude was phenomenal—joyful, focused, and determined. So, as a reward for that incredible heart posture, I made a small accommodation to ease the writing portion of the test.
Her reaction stopped me in my tracks. She was so grateful. She looked up at me and said, “Thank you, Mommy,” with a sincerity that showed she truly understood the gift.
That’s the power of letting kids do the hard things. When they experience the full effort a task requires, they learn three important lessons:
A) How hard the work actually is.
B) How much you do for them on a regular basis.
C) How meaningful it feels when someone steps in to help.
It’s the same reason chores are so valuable. When children contribute to the home, they gain perspective on just how much time and effort it takes to keep things running smoothly. They start to see not just what you do, but why you do it—and it builds both gratitude and respect.
When we allow our kids to work hard, to struggle a bit, and to participate in the rhythm of responsibility, we aren’t just teaching them life skills. We’re teaching them to value the blessings God has given them—and to be thankful for the helping hands that make life a little lighter.
Raising Light 